Yankees Cashman Bully Boss

What is fear? The word fear according to the Webster dictionary is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Fear is a chemical reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing and energized muscles, among others.  Our nervous system, with more than 100 billion nerve cells, comprises an intricate network of communications from everything we sense, to what we think and what we do. Some of these communications lead to conscious thought and action, while others produce autonomic responses. The fear response is almost entirely autonomic: we don't consciously trigger it or even know what's going on until it has run its course. There are two paths involved in the fear response. Although both processes are happening simultaneously, the short circuit is quick and messy, while the long circuit takes more time and delivers a more precise interpretation of events.

Let’s take the example of the shaking of your front door. If the front door to your home is suddenly knocking against the frame, it could be the wind. It could also be a burglar trying to get in. It's far better choice to assume it's a burglar and have it turn out to be the wind than to assume it's the wind and have it turn out to be a burglar. The low road shoots first and asks questions later.

The process looks like this:

·         The door knocking against the door frame is the stimulus. As soon as you hear the sound and see the motion, your brain sends this sensory data to the thalamus.

·          At this point, the thalamus doesn't know if the signals it's receiving are signs of danger or not, but since they might be, it forwards the information to the amygdala.

·         The amygdala receives the neural impulses and takes action to protect you: It tells the hypothalamus to initiate the fight-or-flight response that could save your life if what you're seeing and hearing turns out to be an intruder.

So why are we having this winded discussion about fear? Although fear serves the purpose of inhibition and caution, it also serves the purpose of motivation toward knowledge, learning, protection, security and finally peace. 

One of the most common fears individuals struggle with everyday is called Agoraphobia. This is the fear of any situation in which the person would have difficulty escaping, and can take place anywhere. It may be religious buildings, open spaces, crowded malls, etc.  Although agoraphobia is the extreme case, many individuals suffer silently in conflict and bullying situations and feel trapped.  Yes, these circumstances happen every day. It happens in schools, in families and according to Yankees GM, Cashman, it even happens in baseball. Being bullied at work can be a miserable experience. The ongoing pattern of intimidation can be degrading and humiliating, and can even cause health problems, according to the Washington State Department of Labor and Industries. Bullying is not illegal unless it targets protected characteristics such as your race or sex, which can make it very difficult to stop the bully. If the bullying includes sexual harassment, however, your job could be protected even if you file a bullying claim.

Bullies can be bosses, co-workers, or even subordinates. Bosses, however, are the most likely candidates to bully in the workplace, possibly because they have power. The Workplace Bullying Institute reports that nationally, 72 percent of bullies are bosses. Sixty-two percent of the bullies were men and 79 percent of the targets were women. Although it is in the best interests of the organization to eliminate bullies because they cause increased staff turnover and sick leave, few organizations or government agencies have an anti-bullying policy. The Occupational Health and Safety Administration, OSHA, is one exception -- its May 2011 “OSHA Field Health and Safety Manual” includes an anti-bullying policy.

The WBI has completed surveys on the effectiveness of employees’ strategies to stop bullying. The most common of these strategies include confronting the bully, telling the bully’s boss, telling senior managers or taking the problem to the human resources department. Other strategies included involving a union organization, filing a complaint with a federal or state agency and filing a lawsuit. Of these, the WBI’s April 2012 survey noted the most effective strategy was to file a lawsuit, which was still effective only 16 percent of the time. Filing a complaint with a state or federal agency was effective almost 12 percent of the time. Other strategies had an effectiveness rate of approximately 3 to 4 percent.  Not only did the strategies to stop the bullying fail in most cases, 78 percent of bullied employees had negative employment consequences. Most bullied employees -- 28 percent, according to WBI -- voluntarily quit their jobs. Another 25 percent were forced out through a mechanism called "constructive discharge," in which the employee quits because the employer makes working conditions so unbearable. An additional 25 percent of employees who complained were fired. Eleven percent transferred to another position within the organization. Perpetrators of bullying were terminated 5 percent of the time and 6 percent were punished for bullying.

So now, you are in a situation faced with the fear of loosing your job, but on the other hand in torment and everyday abuse and anguish because a bully is on your tail and derives gratification from seeing you hurt.  How can your long-circuited fear help you?  Report, report, report.  Keeping silent is the worst thing anyone can do when facing terror of this magnitude.  Bullies grow stronger and similar to a Python in hiding, can feed their addiction to bringing misery to others, so much more, by having victims resort to no action, or even worse depression and self-pity.  Chances are if you have been victimized, so have some others.  Why should you not enjoy every minute of your living because of someone’s disease to hurt others?  Once you have made the decision to report the bullying and face the music, here are some steps you can take to safeguard your security:

1.       Keep a diary of the bullying: note dates, times, places and the specific behavior, as well as who else was present.

2.       Document bullying behavior you witness, even if it's not directed at you. Your documentation should be factual: “He told me I was stupid and incompetent.”

3.       Obtain and keep copies of documents that corroborate the bully’s behavior or dispute his accusations about your behavior or performance, such as emails, performance reviews, attendance records or memos.

4.       If possible, have a witness with you any time you must interact with the bully.

5.       When you meet with a senior manager or human resources staff, stay calm and focus on the facts rather than your feelings.

6.       Remember, OSHA is on your side.  Prior to employment and during check your company’s anti-bullying policy and keep them on your speed dial. 

The road may not be paved, but it is there if you take the path of problem-solving and self-respect and surround yourself with trusted advisors who can guide you to make the right choices at the right time.  Although the feelings of fear may immobilize you to have negative self-talk, they can be your rescue to safety if you use them that way.  You don’t have to suffer in silence.  You have choices and any change is better than none.  You don’t get in to arguments, or try to take illegal actions.  You just get the right people involved and move forward.

By the way, how do you kill a Python? You don’t.  You get as far from them as possible and let Wild Life Officials handle it. 

Workplace Bullying Statistics | Infographics

Let’s Talk Woman To Woman

In 2013, with the advents of the changes in the pregnancy and leave act, the announcement of Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer of her pregnancy and intention to only take two weeks off and the release of the book Lean In, there has been yet another invitation to revisit feminism.  It seems as if there is a necessary need for change to shake the foundation of the cultural basis, which supports oppression of individuality: the expression of individuality, of not only working and non-working women, but also that of men. Part of what made feminism so successful was the way women in different situations developed their own variants and organized for the goals most important to them (see the timeline here). All women:  Native American women, working class women, Jewish women, Catholic women, sex workers, and women with disabilities, described what gender equality would mean for them and worked together to achieve it.  It seems as if somewhere along the line, in the hopes of equality, the divide got even larger between men and women.  

The truth is, for women to be more capable of what they want to do, their male counterparts need to be mobilized to be who they want to be as well.  We simply cannot expect one part of society to change without it affecting the other parts.  A good analogy of society would be the human body.  If one organ of the human body was affected by a disease like diabetes, it would affect the other parts.  Likewise, for medication to be effective, it would have to relieve symptoms in all organs of the body, rather than just one. 

So what does all this mean today? 

Women such as Gail Evans having been in the playing field since the 60’s, first as a former Press Secretary and then as an Executive Vice President of CNN, have urged women to “not complain and accept the role of a victim,” however going on to compare women to men in communication style and how to “win,”  Although the differences in behavior are valid, what are they actually teaching society? Men or women? That even in the 21^st century when they thought they had the freedom to choose who they wanted to be, they have to regard men as their role models rather than creating their own style and balance if you will.  In her book, Play like a Man and Win like a woman, Gail points out that “girls are brought up to be nice and pleasing,”  As a mom raising boys, I am sure I am not the only one who teaches my boys the value of respect and kindness.  Even in her book Lean In written by Sheryl Sandberg the COO of Facebook, she says “we have to ask ourselves if we have become so focused on supporting personal choices that we are failing to encourage women to aspire to leadership,” Another double standard assuming that all women want to be in positions of leadership and if they don’t, society is not “aspiring” them to do so. 

When generalized statements such as these are made by women, I am even more disappointed than I would be if a man made them.  Men and women are different, they will always be.  No matter what society changes, the biology and psychology of the two are different.  A woman’s choice to be a leader vs. cashier, a dancer or a researcher or a homemaker, is just as personal her deciding whom she wants to marry, how many children she wants to have, and so on. In fact, when I interviewed happy homemakers who are perfectly content raising a family and having a part-time job may be, the number one thing that they said was how sick they were of women executives who thought their choices were not good enough, or that somehow they were “victims.”  

The double standards are so prevalent among women, but when Mississippi governor Phil Bryant says “America’s educational troubles began when women began working outside the home in large numbers,” eyebrows are raised.  Cheryl Sandberg herself said that the greatest career decision a woman makes is whom she marries, implying that her husband is supportive.  The question I have is, isn’t the real career decision in that case made by her husband, rather than by her? What if similar to her, her husband wanted to be a COO and as she so bluntly put it didn’t want to “sit at the table” because he put his career first? 

The truth is not all women want to be executives, not all women want to be politicians, and not all women want to be COO.  If as a society we want to level the playing field, we have to put individuality before gender, rather than trying to focus on the differences between genders.  A man makes a choice to be a pilot, a nurse, or a ballerina just like he makes a choice to be an executive.  Women need to have that choice too.  Rather than being compared to men and then being told, they try too hard, or that they are too pleasing.  As a western society, we have become so accustomed to changing things that, what feels natural is no longer valued.  Happiness comes from balance, and balance is based on authenticity, rather than what “should” be.  Whether a man is “shoulding” on a woman’s choice, or another woman is “shoulding” on a woman’s choice, it is all the same.  Not all women’s choices are created equal and neither are all men’s and that’s what makes the world a beautiful place and what makes it turn; diversity of choices.

The Various Flavors of Women | Create infographics

More related reading:

Why Business Success needs Business Women

Why are there so few lady scientists?

Margaret Thatcher Leadership Qualities to Note

Inspiration is not just the Beach at Trouville

Considering the report by CBSNews that this year’s Gallup survey shows 70% of employees are not inspired by their work, the journey to achieving inspiration and engagement may seem unrealistic. In Greek mythology, inspiration was thought to be accessible only through muses, who appeared to certain people at certain times. Though the concept of muses is a less popular belief in modern culture, inspiration still remains elusive. However, those who spend time to better acquaint themselves with inspiration have learned it’s not an elusive mythological being, but an achievable and maintainable state of existing. For that matter, inspiration is known to have two qualities. First, it is catalytic and second, it’s collectively infectious, especially in the workplace.

How to create an Inspirational Work Culture

1.       Stay on Target

Great leaders don’t change history by solving unimportant issues, just as multi-million dollar companies don’t succeed without meeting a need. When it comes to maintaining inspiration in the workplace, managers and organizations should regularly visit and re-visit the organization’s mission.

2.       Invest in your players

In Human Capital is an Important Factor for the Success of an Organization , Ravindu Gamage states that Human capital is a valuable resource, because it recognizes that people should be treated as assets, rather than as an expense. Within this frame of mind, every employee should be valued and nurtured within a company. This can be accomplished through investing in employee’s talents and interests, as well as utilizing the Five Languages for Engagement TM.

3.       Guide relentlessly

When solving the puzzle that is inspiration, why not turn to some of the most inspired and loved artists in history? Eugene Boudin: The Man Who Inspired Monet is perhaps a fitting article for consideration.

The Beach at Trouville
By: Boudin

Boudin saw Monet’s charcoal drawings and knew he could do more. Though Monet was not particularly interested in painting, Boudin kept encouraging him to paint with him on the beach. Finally, after some time and Boudin’s continued guidance, similar to the inception of a firework, Monet bloomed and became passionate about painting, moving forward to lead the impressionist movement. Good leaders see potential and invest in their employees with care and unwavering determination.

4.       Share stories

When in doubt of the power of storytelling, simply refer to the IMDB highest grossing box office films, with Avatar topping the list at $760,505,847. People love stories and are propelled by their motivational influence. Just as books line the shelves at Barnes and Noble and movies continually flow into theaters, stories cycle through every company and every office. The key is to become the narrator of inspiring stories about the general human condition which minimizes differences in people and capitalizes on their collective power and determination to win.  Tell humorous and motivational stories by the water cooler and in meetings.  Your stories will strengthen work culture by inspiring others, as well as influencing them to share positive memories.

5.       Inspire with motivation

Countless studies have shown that employees, who are challenged by their roles, excel and strengthen their organizations. Challenges lead to trial and tribulations, resulting in learning and growth. Heard of the saying, “couples who play together stay together?” It’s even truer in organizations.  Engagement comes from participation in common goals.  In order to “keep the fire burning,” continual skill building is vital. Take employees out of their comfort zones and challenge them to do more.

Inspiration isn’t something that can be touched or tasted, but it is certainly something that can be influenced and felt. So go forth, and inspire.