Ever heard
of a bloody divorce? One of the most disturbing portrayals of the concept might
be the 1989 black comedy The War of the Roses.
In this film, a divorce lawyer tells the tale of a horrific divorce in which
the conflict escalated to violence and eventually death. Unfortunately, violent
disputes in married relationships, friendships and working relationships are
not unheard of. These scenarios are examples of the highest degree of conflict temperature,
which is boiling. Many times, both sides in the dispute are angry and willing
to go to any length to “win.” Or sometimes, the conflict is instigated by an
attacking side with malicious intent, which was likely the case in the recent attack
on Zac Efron in Skid Row. Often both sides are in need of stronger emotional
intelligence and guidance to help reduce tensions.
At the other
end of the conflict thermometer is a warm conflict. Based on her interviews, it
would seem Gwyneth
Paltrow’s break up would fall into this category. She says she and her
husband, Coldplay front man, Chris Martin, are uncoupling. She says uncoupling “seeks
to be very undramatic.” As opposed to a loud, name-calling break up, she
described her split with Chris with terms of compassion and mutual
understanding. Paltrow’s celebrity friend, Cameron
Diaz explained to E! News “People want them to blow up and it to be ugly, but they're
kind, generous, loving people who really care about one another… They
are really good friends” (Huffington
Post). This situation shows the signs of warm conflict in that both sides
are still open to discussion and finger pointing is not an issue.
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| Gwyneth Paltrow Photo By: Jared Purdy Photography |
In the midst
of a dispute, pausing to determine conflict temperature, evaluate
the cause of the conflict and learn about conflict resolution
tools such as persuasion
can lead to much better outcomes.
Check out
this video for more details on conflict temperature:
Related Reads:
Mclachlan ConflictEI & Conflict Resolution: George Washington StyleMad Employee WildfireEI & Conflict Resolution: Leadership Negotiation Skills
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