Friday, March 28, 2014

Gwyneth Paltrow Boiling or Not?

Ever heard of a bloody divorce? One of the most disturbing portrayals of the concept might be the 1989 black comedy The War of the Roses. In this film, a divorce lawyer tells the tale of a horrific divorce in which the conflict escalated to violence and eventually death. Unfortunately, violent disputes in married relationships, friendships and working relationships are not unheard of. These scenarios are examples of the highest degree of conflict temperature, which is boiling. Many times, both sides in the dispute are angry and willing to go to any length to “win.” Or sometimes, the conflict is instigated by an attacking side with malicious intent, which was likely the case in the recent attack on Zac Efron in Skid Row. Often both sides are in need of stronger emotional intelligence and guidance to help reduce tensions.  

At the other end of the conflict thermometer is a warm conflict. Based on her interviews, it would seem Gwyneth Paltrow’s break up would fall into this category. She says she and her husband, Coldplay front man, Chris Martin, are uncoupling. She says uncoupling “seeks to be very undramatic.” As opposed to a loud, name-calling break up, she described her split with Chris with terms of compassion and mutual understanding. Paltrow’s celebrity friend, Cameron Diaz explained to E! News “People want them to blow up and it to be ugly, but they're kind, generous, loving people who really care about one another… They are really good friends” (Huffington Post). This situation shows the signs of warm conflict in that both sides are still open to discussion and finger pointing is not an issue.  


Gwyneth Paltrow Photo
By: Jared Purdy Photography



In the midst of a dispute, pausing to determine conflict temperature, evaluate the cause of the conflict and learn about conflict resolution tools such as persuasion can lead to much better outcomes.  


Check out this video for more details on conflict temperature:


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