What is
fear? The word fear according to the Webster dictionary is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or
something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Fear is a chemical reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release
of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing and energized muscles, among others. Our
nervous system, with more than 100 billion nerve cells, comprises an intricate network of communications
from everything we sense, to what we think and what we do. Some of these
communications lead to conscious thought and action, while others produce autonomic
responses. The fear response is almost entirely autonomic: we don't
consciously trigger it or even know what's going on until it has run its
course. There are two paths involved in the fear response. Although both
processes are happening simultaneously, the short circuit is quick and
messy, while the long circuit takes more time and delivers a more
precise interpretation of events.
Let’s take the example of the shaking of your front door.
If the front door to your home is suddenly knocking against the frame, it could
be the wind. It could also be a burglar trying to get in. It's far better
choice to assume it's a burglar and have it turn out to be the wind than to
assume it's the wind and have it turn out to be a burglar. The low road shoots
first and asks questions later.
The process looks like this:
·
The door knocking against
the door frame is the stimulus. As soon as you hear the sound and see the
motion, your brain sends this sensory data to the thalamus.
·
At this point, the thalamus doesn't know if
the signals it's receiving are signs of danger or not, but since they might be,
it forwards the information to the amygdala.
·
The amygdala receives the
neural impulses and takes action to protect you: It tells the hypothalamus to
initiate the fight-or-flight response that could save your life if what you're
seeing and hearing turns out to be an intruder.
So why are we having this winded discussion about fear?
Although fear serves the purpose of inhibition and caution, it also serves the
purpose of motivation toward knowledge, learning, protection, security and
finally peace.
One of the most common
fears individuals struggle with everyday is called Agoraphobia.
This is the fear of any situation in which the person would have difficulty
escaping, and can take place anywhere. It may be religious buildings, open
spaces, crowded malls, etc. Although
agoraphobia is the extreme case, many individuals suffer silently in conflict and
bullying situations and feel trapped.
Yes, these circumstances happen every day. It happens in schools, in
families and according
to Yankees GM, Cashman, it even happens in baseball. Being bullied at work can be a miserable experience. The
ongoing pattern of intimidation can be degrading and humiliating, and can even
cause health problems, according to the Washington
State Department of Labor and Industries. Bullying is not illegal unless it
targets protected characteristics such as your race or sex, which can make it
very difficult to stop the bully. If the bullying includes sexual harassment,
however, your job could be protected even if you file a bullying claim.
Bullies can be bosses,
co-workers, or even subordinates. Bosses, however, are the most likely
candidates to bully in the workplace, possibly because they have power. The
Workplace Bullying Institute reports that nationally, 72 percent of bullies are bosses.
Sixty-two percent of the bullies were men and 79 percent of the targets were
women. Although it is in the best interests of the organization to eliminate
bullies because they cause increased staff turnover
and sick leave, few organizations or government agencies have an anti-bullying
policy. The Occupational Health and Safety
Administration, OSHA, is one exception -- its May 2011 “OSHA Field Health
and Safety Manual” includes an anti-bullying policy.
The WBI has completed surveys on the effectiveness of
employees’ strategies to stop bullying. The most common of these strategies
include confronting the bully, telling the bully’s boss, telling senior
managers or taking the problem to the human resources department. Other
strategies included involving a union organization, filing a complaint with a
federal or state agency and filing a lawsuit. Of these, the WBI’s April 2012
survey noted the most effective strategy was to file a lawsuit, which was still
effective only 16 percent of the time. Filing a complaint with a state or
federal agency was effective almost 12 percent of the time. Other strategies
had an effectiveness rate of approximately 3 to 4 percent. Not only did the strategies to stop the
bullying fail in most cases, 78 percent of bullied employees had negative
employment consequences. Most bullied employees -- 28 percent, according to WBI
-- voluntarily quit their jobs. Another 25 percent were forced out through a
mechanism called "constructive discharge," in which the employee
quits because the employer makes working conditions so unbearable. An
additional 25 percent of employees who complained were fired. Eleven percent
transferred to another position within the organization. Perpetrators of
bullying were terminated 5 percent of the time and 6 percent were punished for
bullying.
So now, you are in a situation
faced with the fear of loosing your job, but on the other hand in torment and
everyday abuse and anguish because a bully is on your tail and derives gratification
from seeing you hurt. How can your
long-circuited fear help you? Report,
report, report. Keeping silent is the
worst thing anyone can do when facing terror of this magnitude. Bullies grow stronger and similar to a Python
in hiding, can feed their addiction to bringing misery to others, so much more,
by having victims resort to no action, or even worse depression
and self-pity. Chances are if you have
been victimized, so have some others.
Why should you not enjoy every minute of your living because of
someone’s disease to hurt others? Once
you have made the decision to report the bullying and face the music, here are
some steps you can take to safeguard your security:
1. Keep a diary of the bullying: note dates, times, places and the
specific behavior, as well as who else was present.
2.
Document bullying
behavior you witness, even if it's not directed at you. Your documentation
should be factual: “He told me I was stupid and incompetent.”
3.
Obtain and keep copies
of documents that corroborate the bully’s behavior or dispute his accusations
about your behavior or performance, such as emails, performance reviews,
attendance records or memos.
4.
If possible, have a
witness with you any time you must interact with the bully.
5.
When you meet with a
senior manager or human resources staff, stay calm and focus on the facts
rather than your feelings.
6.
Remember,
OSHA is on your side. Prior to
employment and during check your company’s anti-bullying policy and keep them
on your speed dial.
The road may
not be paved, but it is there if you take the path of problem-solving and
self-respect and surround yourself with trusted advisors who can guide you to
make the right choices at the right time.
Although the feelings of fear may immobilize you to have negative
self-talk, they can be your rescue to safety if you use them that way. You don’t have to suffer in silence. You have choices and any change is better
than none. You don’t get in to
arguments, or try to take illegal actions.
You just get the right people involved and move forward.
By the way,
how do you kill a Python? You don’t. You
get as far from them as possible and let Wild Life Officials handle it.
